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When I sat down to write my first article for PornResource.com I asked myself, "Am I really qualified to write about how to make money in this business?" and, "What can I write that hasn't already been said a hundred times before?" Then, in a flash of inspiration, it came to me. I'm always reading articles about how to make money as an adult webmaster but what about those of us who want to remain poor losers for the rest of our lives? Who's looking out for us? So here I am with an article on how NOT to make money with your adult business. Just call me Champion of the Shmucks. With my help, you will be living in that box on the street corner you've had your eye on in no time!
1. Don't Set Goals
Most of the successful webmasters not only set goals for themselves but also implement and follow plans to achieve these goals. We want to avoid doing this. Setting goals for yourself not only provides daily motivation, it also helps you make the most of your time and energy. Attaining any level of success as an adult webmaster requires a lot of diligence and patience. Goals and a plan will help avoid wasted time and burnout. Since we want to fail, wasted time and burnout are our friends and we should embrace them with open arms. 2. Don't Take The Time To Learn Your Tools
Proper use of the tools you will use on a daily basis also helps prevent wasted time and frustration. While taking the time away from building and maintaining your sites to read up on the latest tutorials might seem like a pain in the ass, it will save much more time than it will waste. Let me hasten to remind you that we want to waste as much of our time as possible so fumbling around blindly with paint programs and HTML editors rather than becoming proficient with them is probably our best bet. Learning how to optimize your graphics, save on bandwidth, and make your sites more surfer-friendly will only put more cash in your pocket and build your reputation as a good webmaster. Heaven forbid! 3. Don't Ask Other Webmasters For Advice
There are plenty of very successful adult webmasters out there just waiting to mislead you with their wisdom. I implore you to stay on the path of the loser and not get sucked in by their 'help'. With their advice, you might find yourself building more popular sites, managing your time better and, worst of all, starting to see a profit on a regular basis. Adult webmaster message boards are often where you will find these Yodas of porn. Avoid them like the plague! Now that I think about it, what the hell are you doing at this web site? You are in serious jeopardy of learning something that might help you become more successful! 4. Don't Trade Links
The most sure-fire way to avoid making money is to make sure surfers can't find your sites. The easiest way to accomplish this is to keep your sites a secret. Trading links with other webmasters might seem like fun but you might find yourself getting more traffic, more link popularity, and more money. Just keep repeating our mantra: "Success is bad. Failure is good." Keep those pesky surfers and their credit cards away from your sites! Let the less enlightened webmasters have them. 5. Cheat Your Sponsors
Cheating your sponsors is sort of like being a bad driver. The good drivers all have to pay higher insurance premiums to make up for the ones who are constantly wrecking their cars. It's the same way with webmasters who try to cheat the system. The honest webmasters have to work even harder to make a buck because sponsors have to constantly lower payouts and toughen their rules to compensate for the revenue they lose due to cheaters. So, as you can see, this method has an added bonus: it makes honest webmasters have to work even harder for their money and keeps them from ever offering you any sort of assistance. Keep in mind, you will eventually get caught and blacklisted but isn't that what you're in this business for? You'll make a little money initially but you'll never have to worry about quitting your day job or becoming financially independent. After all, you can't make money if sponsors laugh in your face when you try to become an affiliate. These are just the first steps in your journey to become the Ultimate Loser. There are many more rookie mistakes to be made and I wish you the best of luck in finding them. In closing, let me say that if you took any of this seriously you deserve to be hit repeatedly in the head with a blunt object. I'm always open to comments, questions, and large cash donations. Feel free to email me at
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Until next time, stay cool and work hard! Timpysan
AAA Porn Guide.com
http://www.aaapornguide.com/ -------------------------------------------------- Timpysan is the webmaster at AAA Porn Guide and has put together a page of adult webmaster resources especially for PornResource readers with links to hosting, sponsors, and traffic generators. You can find it at http://www.aaapornguide.com/webmasters.html. Special thanks to Porn Resource for providing the great adult webmaster articles for our newsletter! For more articles like the one above, visit Porn Resource at: http://www.pornresource.com |
